I take seriously two fantasy sports leagues. The first is a fairly traditional (but highly entertaining) fantasy football operation. The second is an insanely intense and unique fantasy college basketball league, started from scratch by three creative brothers nine years ago. We have our own website and our own original scoring system. We spend an inordinate amount of time watching non-conference tilts like Nebraska vs. Florida Gulf Coast and late Sunday night contests between Pac-10 (Pac-12?) bottom feeders. By the time March Madness rolls around, every owner has seen Duke play roughly 15 times. It’s no joke.

Our draft kicks off today and I couldn’t be more excited. To mark the occasion, I’ve written a list of current collegiate hoopers with funny names. I assure you that each one is completely real and that I know an embarrassing amount about his statistical utility. Enjoy:

-Myck Kabongo*
-Herb Pope
-Festus Ezeli
-Rodney McGruder**
-De’End Parker
-Cleveland Melvin
-Antonio “Scoop” Jardine
-Allen Crabbe
-Michael (Mike) Scott

* Pronounced Mike
**Only funny if you sing the theme song to MacGruber every time Rodney scores. Which I do.